So we're at the neighbors' house--not really a neighbor--the mom and dad of one of Eric's fellow hi skool grads. We're having the ham and roast beef and teens gathering. I'm sitting with grandpa at the table, and we're talking about my books. He asks me, "What's your last name again?" Urrea. "How do you spell that?" U-R-R-E-A. He looks at me for a beat, then announces, "We used to call that PISS!" Cindy almost spits out her potato salad, and she and Eric laugh at me all the way back home. Just thought you'd like to know I did my part to spread joy among the congregation.

I have decided to change my name; my new stage name will be Dick Urethra.

Here's your meditation!

I shall be myself--
Free, a genius, an embarrassment
Like the Indian, the buffalo

Like Yellowstone Nastional Park.

--Philip Whalen

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