The Immigration Monday Holy Crap! Edition
December 10, 2007

You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.

--Daniel Patrick Moyniham

Last year at this time (December 2006), the "Harper's Index" in Harper's magazine had this interesting tidbit:

Cost, in one Mexican town, of a six-hour tour "full of obstacles and persecution" across a mock U,S.-Mexico border: $14

Estimated percentage of the town's population that has illegally crossed the real border: 90

Holy Crap!

By the way, in light of our border fence, this other little jot of data caught my eye:

Minimum number of checkpoints Mary and Joseph would face today on their journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem: 10

Holy Crap!


Holy Shit!

Last week, the BBC announced that Panama has made Chinese mandatory in all its schools. You want to know where "the rest of the story" on our borders lies, look there.


God Is Weak on Immigration, Part One.

Have you looked at the Bible lately?


Whoa, Big Fella!

Lou Dobbs said that 1/3 of imprisoned criminals in the U.S. are "illegals aliens." But the real number is 6%, not 33%. Lou? Amy Goodwin would like a word with you, young man.


Firm Resolve! Well, Maybe Not So Much....

The Republican debate on Univision. Tom Tancredo didn't like it. And, really, where did all the bold rhetoric go?


Did Somebody Say "Tom Tancredo"?

Here's a dirty trick--a Tancredo hater posts a website attacking our fervent anti-immigrant immigrant candidate and makes it look loike a Tancredo For President website! Damn Mexicans! Oh, wait--it's a good American.


Crackdown in Arizona.

Arizona's illegal-hiring law.


That Darned Illegal--But Don't Worry, Nobody Thanked Him.

My awesome UIC student, Matt Kelley, forwarded me this story expanding upon the amazing tale I mentioned here last time. Hiow the "illegal" saved the boy in the desert. But don't worry, y'all--we still arrested him and booted his ass out! Why didn't somebody waterboard that potential terrorist?


Somebody Call Tom Tancredo!

Gosh, immigration makes everybody testy. Giorgio Bettio, in Treviso, Italy, had a great hard-line solution to the immigration problem. A final solution? Hey, it's a start.


Lou! Lou! I said, "Whoa, Boy! Whoa!"


I Said It Last Week, And I'll Say It Again This Week--Thank God I Live in America. And Furthermore, If You Still Need To Understand Why 90% of that Mexican Village Came to the U.S. Look No Further. As A Correlation: Expect a Lot of Undocumented Lounge Singers and Rock Bands. Note to Border Patrol: You'll Know Them by their Guitar Cases and Glittery Cowboy Jackets.

Murder/torture wave in Mexico targets singers.


Mitt Romney: Hard Line on Immigration Except When We Need Domestic Help at Our Mansion.


Oh, Wait--You Mean Tom Tancredo Did it Too?


God Is Weak on Immigration, Part Two.


Ah...the sweet smell of apocalypse.

"Show me one man who's not a parasite, and I'll go out and say a prayer for him." --Bob Dylan

Next week, some hard scary numbers on the actual deaths on the border. And, don't tell anybody, but there's a big immigration conference happening and...oh looks like they might announce that the U.S. benefits from "illegals" more than it loses. Research. It's such a problem--facts suck!

Honestly, I'm not convinced, but I'll be delighted to see what they say. I'm leaning that way, and not just because I'm an America-hating defeatist beaner lovin' Mex communist Bible-thumper. It simply seems that the voices that attack the poor are the voices that tell you there is no sneaky conspiracy in oil companies making record profits when you can't afford to drive to Aunt Biffie's weenie-roast.

Remember: the Politics of Fear and Control need an OTHER.

There is no OTHER.

There is only US.

WWJD--Who Would Jesus Deport? He would be too busy forgiving Pancho Villa's sins to rev up his big truck or get out the Mossberg pump shotgun.

If anybody asks--I did not write this.

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