Immigration Monday
February 11, 2008

No amount of make-believe
Will help this heart of mine.
Your dream-world is just about to end.
Your dream-world is just about to fall.
Your dream-world will fall. --Midnight Oil

Happy Valentine's Day.


As you know, I started this blog to discuss writing/spirit/career with my readers and students and friends and peers. But we took this side-trip to Immigration Monday. Like any great road-trip, it's all in the detours. Right? How esle are you going to find the Jolly Green Giant statue in Blue Earth, MN? (I wonder what the Giant's view is on immigration? Since the small brown huamoids scuttle down hsi many rows of veggies and keep them cheap, I will venture that the HO-HO-HO Green Giant is SOFT on immigration!) Still, it seems that I spend most of my lit-blog time writing this IM material. We are looking at putting it all in its own archive, so you Immigration Researchers can access the rich manure of this mulch-pile, while the haiku, inspiration, gardening/God/Zen/Jesus/rock'n'roll/wild turkey/tree hugger types can stay in the writing workshop side. That's what I'm hoping. Separation of church and state. COMING SOON.

Watch the S.F. Chronicle of Feb. 20 for my newest unfit-for-primetime rant on...uh...immigration! Actually, it's about the border fence. I think it's funny. But, you know, whenever I raise my head from the bunker, the maniacs start shooting. Let's hope they post freakazoid attacks on the message board here so we can all enjoy them!


The Official Immigration Lawyer of Immigration Monday

I just decided. We e-mail and chat and I think she's great. So, un-requested: Florence Chamberlin, P.A. That's my IM warrior! I hope to feature an editorial from her soon, since I'm tired of writing about this stuff.


Immigration Law News

Thanks to Florence, I have been reading the AILA news. (American Immigration Lawyers Association.) You want to get right to the heart of the news and cut out the crap? Try taking a peek at what the professionals who have to do this battle on the front lines report. It's a wonderful read if you're a border maniac like me. Look for the "Pulse" e-magazine at:


Mung-Munching Morons of the Month

If you peruse the Drudge Report like I do (and you should--it's Righty but full of interesting stuff, and Drudge links to many many news sources so you can do your own IM research), you saw that a picturte of nerdy Hillary and Bill back in the bad haircut/hairy legs years graced a headline that screamed: HILLARY WILL GIVE AMNESTY TO MILLIONS OF ILLEGALS.

Holy cow, Ma! Circle the wagons! The beaners is comin'!

This posting was offered by the "think-tank", Numbers USA. A group doing some hard thinking about the daunting issue of Illegal Immigratrion. The point of their article was this: Hillary will allow ten to twenty million beaners in the country to stay in the country!

Wait. Ten million is a lot fewer than twenty million. I thought you guys were NUMBERS USA.

Wait, wait! Do you mean you don't know the numbers? Or do you not know the difference? I know the difference between 10 and 20.

You either don't know the numbers, or you feel there's wiggle-room on the numbers, so that the ten million OR SO people in between 10,000,000 and 20,000,000 are not much of a margin. Gee, that's the kind of thinking that led to our fabulous economic recovery we're enjoying right now. That whole Iraq thing and cutting taxes. That booming real estate picture. That fine stock market. Could it be that the morons you hope to panic and stampede are easier to sway if 10 MIL isn't enough? 20 MIL might really sock it to 'em?

Maybe you're hoping the minds of your constituency will skip over the 10 and go right to the big 20--or blend them together into 30 MILLION!!!!

I'd like to borrow ten...OR...twenty dollars from you.



National Council on La Raza. They have a stop the hate campaign. Numbers USA would tell you they are sneaky America-haters. But you should look and see and think for yourself:


Official Troubador of Immigration Monday

TOM RUSSELL! My amigo, Tom. He, of the lonesome deep voice and the heart-breaking songs. He of the Texas border country and the big cowboy hat and the swooning ladies and weeping cowboys. He, wh was friends with Charles Bukowski and writes the most amazing songs. He has an anthem I love, and if you read this blog you might love it, too. It's called "Who's Gonna Build Your Wall?"

Watch the viddie on Youtube:

He also has a killer Border Patrol song--no, it's not a hate-the-BP number.


Try, Try Again

Last week, I offered you two interesting sites with stories on immigration and the Dems, and immigration and the GOP. The links didn't work. Let's try it this way.

First, you ought to hook up with Truth Out. They'll send you nifty stories and columns and I won't have to put them up here.

The GOP story. Try:

For the Democrats:

look for Maya Schenwer at Truth Out. The piece is called "Immigration, the Democrats' Invisible Issue."


Speaking of the Post

Juan Sanchez sent me the very useful link to The Houston Chronicle D.C. reporter, Richard Dunham's, column. It isn't always about Immigration, but immigration itself isn't always about immigration.


All righty then. Another happy gathering of immigrant lovers, America haters, fence-jumpers, beaners, Pinkos, weak-kneed sissies and errant cops, sheriffs, BP agents, lawyers, "illegals," and the idle curious. It's a typical beautiful day the the Immigration Monday Rancho. -7 degrees and a ferocious wind.

Aren't you glad you're not out there, walking the empty spaces?

Who did you vote for? I aint tellin. You know me--I was either going to go for Hillarity or o'Bama. I'm mad at both of them, though. When they appoint me Immigration Czar, I will take them to task. This is my campaign promise to you, my core constituents!

Both Barry and Billary voted FOR the boondoggle known as Your Border Fence. They KNEW it was a sheer waste of money and a stupid gesture that the Minutemen are doing better and cheaper on their own! They knew it, but they didn't care, because they were pandering to base and shitty instincts. I hear (9/11) a lot of talk (terrorism) against the (Bin Laden) "politics of fear" (Iraq) in America (illegals). How it's bad. How this is a new era of HOPE! CHANGE! Wait--didn't I hear one of the candidates say a version of "I'm a uniter, not a divider"? Oh my Lord, no!

But a cynical vote for a fence neither candidate believes in is a vote for more fear and loathing. Shame on you, you little piglets. Do better.

Again, I ask: is John McCain the only visionary left on immigarion? Oops. Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity just popped a cerebral hemorrhage. Sorry.

The fence is costing you, personally, $1.2 billion. Now, NUMBERS USA would lost that as: One or Two BILLION DOLLARS. The issue comes up often that illegal immigration is costing schools and hospitals a fortune in border states. Of course, if we hadn't wiped our nether parts with $1.2 billion and flushed to down the john, we could have invested it in--hey!--schools and hospitals. But, or course, that's soft.

Today's Chicago Tribune (SUnday) has a great piece on Arizona's new draconian laws on immigration. I'll probably post it this week as an IM Extra--it's that interesting. The harsh new rules are accomplishing what Oklahoma wanted to accomplish with its own harsh new rules: self-immigration. That's right! Peeps are pulling up stakes and running to Texas, California, New Mexico. Voila! Problem gone! Shazam! New probs in Texas, California, New Mexico!

And, oh gee, what a bummer, there is suddenly a financial crisis in OOOOOOOOOOOklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! I AZ. All that filthy beaner money. Gone.

Do you remember when this happened on the east coast? We, of course, mocked the crap out of the towns in New Jersey that forced out the "illegals" then started whining that they were going bankrupt and started trying to lure "illegals" back.

America: you cannot have it both ways.

You cannot hate and love.

You cannot represent change and pander to the staus quo.

You cannot chase 'em out and cry about their being gone.

You cannot build a fence that can't work, won't work, can't be built, is not long enough and can't be paid for and complain about those who criticize it.

You can't be immigrants and assault immigrants for being immigrants. Well, you can. And you can be laughed at as hypocrites.

ReDefine the Line.

I Am Immigration Czar of America.

Who Would Jesus Deport?
Amnesty for The Jolly Green Giant!


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