I was out there shovelling after our first snow storm. Muy macho Dad-Man! Getting the snow out of the driveway and off the sidewalks and off the brick path to the front door, cursing all the possible pedestrians who might slip and fall. Then I was starting the vehicles out there to make sure they were running. Then I was scraping off the Honda so our daughter can go to her 1957 job at the Naperville nuts'n'chocolate emporium! Cripes, man--this is Main Street USA, and Mickey and Goofy are comin' in a red jalopy with tuba music playing! Now we hunker down and await tonight's fresh snow storm. I have a talk tomorrow in dntn Chi, and that's IT for 2008! Finito! Oh, no--oops. I forgot I have to fly to Phoenix on Monday. But THAT'S it! Then I'm done!

So here we are, in the ghastly aftermath of the Mumbai massacres. Once again trying to figure out what people are so mad about. Especially here in Toontown where we live. But, you know, you have to shovel hard and fast in this world, because the mung and the pestilence and the anger flood high really fast. F'r example, that aforementioned daughter--The Naper Nut!--(she will kill me for that)--goes to a high school about the size of five of my high schools put together inside a suburban nuclear reactor wed to a mini-mall. One of those schools. And one of her li'l chums is a Pakistani kid.

Said young man has announced to his Naper Buds that he hates America. He hopes Pakistan attacks us. And he feels that it would be all right for innocent Americans to be killed. He's saying this to Americans. His belief is that a few innocent civilians should die now to avoid the deaths of many people later. Oddly, he hasn't quite figured out that one of the girlies he's offering these pensees to is the eldest child of an FBI man. A great big really scary FBI agent.

Really? Here? Here in neighborhood-pet-turkey-BMW-town? Where the newspaper runs alarming stories if there is graffiti? Hate? Death? Terrorist longings? Here?

Oh shit. Shovel fast, amigos. Shovel hard. It's rising.

Me, I'm going to be up yonder valley. 2,000 cans of beef stew and a bunch of solar panels.


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